It's A Mad World: 2006

Sunday, December 17, 2006

God Bless America & The Penal System

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."

Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."

Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
Witness: "'Winchester'!"

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."

Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."

Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."

Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
Witness: "After the accident?"
Lawyer: "Before the accident."
Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
Witness: "Yes, sir."
Lawyer: "What did she say?"
Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
Officer: "Yes, I do."
Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."

Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"

Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"

Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"

Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"

Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."

Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
Witness: "Not yet."

Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"

Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."

Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"
Witness: "Fair."

Lawyer: "Are you married?"
Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

Lawyer: "And who is this person you are speaking of?"
Witness: "My ex-widow said it.

Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."

Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."

The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."

Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
Witness: "Attached to the ears."

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."

Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
Witness: "She is my daughter."
Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"

Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"
Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."

Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
Lawyer: "It was covered?"
Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

FUCK YEAH it makes me proud to be English when I read this.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Underground Can't Do It Alone

After reading one of my boys blogs regarding the current state (and it IS a state) of Hip Hop, I gots to thinking. As pretentious as this may seem as I pride myself on being part of the underground rap scene in the UK, most of Europe and partly in Canada & the US aiming to make it big (thanks to some cross-seas connections like Nix, Poet etc.) I'm getting tired of mainstream "artists" reproducing bullshit and failing to come up with the goods. "[I never hear anything] ...besides [mainstream rappers] putting a new chain around their neck or bigger rims on that Range." my boy aptly analyzes. It's true though. Try to think of a modern-day track that's sold to the millions that doesn't revolve around cash, status or 'pimping'. Can't can ya? Didn't think so.
Which brings me on to my next point. The best new material I've heard in the past 4 years has all been underground/online shit and that's not even an exaggeration. I always go through phases of listening mostly to one or two artists. And since late 2002, when I got involved in hip hop, the main cats that have been on heavy rotation in my world have been heads like DZK, Big Nix, Mastah Poet, Hard Target, Richie Sosa, Mickey Factz, Jae Swift, Boro, F.a.T, K-Nice, P.I.G., Spoonfull, Donnie B, Gravity and the list goes on and on. There's nothing better when I'ma be traveling for ages than turning on my iPod (or whatever music playing device I had back in '02) and bumping these rappers tracks and just listening to shit worth hearing and imagining performing this sort of stuff live gives me a buzz. Delivering each profound line and getting a massive crowd reaction must be the nearest to heaven short of having Jessica Alba, Kate Beckinsale and Christina Milian all in your hotel room horny and smashed off their faces on 80-proof alcohol and diesel fumes. Then, I put in a mainstream album, The Game's for instance. Now this is easy to listen to because the production, flow, delivery etc. is ace and dude's a talented rapper. But try to imagine performing this and it's only 1 or 2 lines per song that you can really see the crowd reacting to, and Game's is like the best mainstream cat in the world right now including Nas, Mos Def and a few others in my opinion. And Jay-Z’s new album “Kingdome Come” is not even worth turning the bad taste in my mouth to ink. It's like when I first heard Infinite, Em's lyrics, rhymes and delivery was crazy and, as I copped it late, I went out and bought the Encore CD. And I enjoyed that shit for a bit but since The Re-Up's release I've realized I couldn't have liked Encore that much because I honestly don't give a flying nazi fuck that Mr. Mathers has just released a new project.
One CD I am excited about though is "Debut of a Don: Volume I" courtesy of Gravity from New York. Now this kid has got skill. Riding the beat with a medium-speed, cocky but amiable rhythm he shuns a likeness to Pun he's been tagged with (being mixed race & Hispanic) with a "Yeah, but can Pun do this?" and flipping the next 8-12 bars at a crazy but crystal clear pace. And it’s this versatility the game is seriously lacking. Not just flowing differently and at changeable tempos but also having shit to say, as you'll see Grav has when you check him out at his official MySpace Page. Not once have I heard him rap about chains, money or bitches (bitches as in he's a pimp) and you should see the line-up on this mixtape. Fair enough Young Buck may not be of many avid hip hop fans tastes but it's a big-name, local figure head he's attracted through making the music he wants. Plus, you don't get Stimuli and Chino XL on your CD through being whack, do you? No.
Nova Prospektz, even though I'm unsure if they’re still a crew, are doing just this too. Nix has made some of the most creative tracks I've ever heard online with one of his early songs "Mah Life" playing a huge part in getting myself involved in making music in the beginning. Check Sacred Society any day of the Week and I bet “Big Nix” will be placed just below the words; Most, Creative and Audio.
Mastah Poet has always done his own thing with mad creative and original drops since the days of The Mobb and when cats there got too e-gangster and bullshitting he dropped a classic like The Settlement Part II and outted every single fronting fuck up in that bitch, shit was beautiful. That's why Poet and I have created AON (All Or Nothing) to produce the sort of music we think the game needs not what some fuck thinks will sell to pre-pubescent, crushing girls.

Speaking of The Mobb, I can also remember listening to cats like Corleone, Son of Caine and the then Furious Styles flipping multis so professionally and seamlessly I could hardly keep up. I’d find myself rewinding the tracks just to catch up with what they were saying. These were the days when Hip Hop, to me, really meant something. Back when a topical battle between Sinistir Knot and LynxXx would be talked about for months because so much effort and talent went into them they were classics. Then, Son of Caine dropping an anti-political fuelled bomb like “Red Tape”. Then, Poet dropping “The Settlement Part II”. Then, Inzer dropping “Supply & Demand”. And I don’t even know of any Mobb cats these days except Sinistir Knot has dropped from the underground scene, Mastah Poet and LynxXx (Nix) still progressing like a fucking steam train, Joey Ripps aka Likwit Skillz & Rhyme Adam (formerly Millennium) are making moves with me and Poet in FrontLine Militia and that Grimey Ben Blanco, who came before my time, is doing his thing with his own label in Florida. And it just seems a waste.

All of the above is strictly my opinion and are cats that just I've heard of and I'm sure there are plenty more talented MC's struggling for exposure in the game. Especially as distribution tends to be 9/10ths of making it these days.

Now, the underground. We can't do it alone. We lack both the exposure and funds to really make an independent CD worth listening to. Only the wannabe-street upper class kids can make this shit but it's rarely physically possible to listen to let alone worth it. So fuck net-beef. Cats should be hooking up globally to take over the mainstream the way we wanna and helping to keep talented artists involved in making music. Fuck what the pencil neck, braces wearing prick sitting in his big leather chair at the top of Interscope wants.

So from now on for the underground it should be All Or Nothing.

I.

I Was In The John...

Monday, December 11, 2006

"A Rant" By Spilled Ink

Upon receiving yet another chain bulletin on MySpace, I decided to strike back at these passed-along-plagues, MySpace and most of all, the dickheads (including, nay ESPECIALLY my real friends) on my 'friends-list' by fighting fire with fire... something to offend and annoy all of them.
After reading this the day after actually posting, I couldn't help but laugh to myself and wanted to share.
Now I'ma send it into one of those self righteous, the world doesn't understand us, emo, we can sell an upside down toilet with coke cans and rose petals on top for 4.3million but still be morose art sites, and hopefully claim my riches and move to the Bahamas.

"FUCK EVERYBODY on my friends list who posts one of them "repost this within 1.3 seconds or you'll have bad relationships for 7 years and none of your wishes will come true and you'll get bad luck for 50 years and your true love won't text message you at midnight and you'll develop some form of terminal disease and your profile will be deleted including layout, friends, codes, comments, picture comments, EVERYTHING!" chain bulletins.

I don't care if God HIMSELF get's a Shaft-like stroll on up to his almighty computer in all of his infallible, bearded and long-flowing-hairness, gets a MySpace profile just to see what he's been missing since he's been doing sweet F.A. since declaring "let there be light" in all of his I-made-the-world-in-the-dark glory, uploads a photo of himself in his bathroom mirror, requests to be my friend then passes one of these moron-created messages on to me... then, FUCK HIM TOO.

Thanks for listening children, enjoy the remainder of today."

Yours truly.

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Yeah... just go out and invent basejumping without parachutes... fuck it... a huge group of professionals made the most advanced form of sea travel known to man that happened to employ a dumbass/alcoholic/crackhead captain which failed to see an iceberg the same size as the Americas but a fictional character single handedly made a wooden ship big enough to hold 2 of every animal in the world... so fuck it... go make pavement pizza out of yourself.

Feel Like Going On A Murderous Rampage Resulting In A High Body Count? Then Roll Up A Fat One...

Brain may produce its own antipsychotic drug

Rachel Nowak, Melbourne

A cannabis-like substance produced by the brain may dampen delusional or psychotic experiences, rather than trigger them.

Heavy cannabis use has been linked to psychosis in the past, leading researchers to look for a connection between the brain's natural cannabinoid system and schizophrenia.

Sure enough, when Markus Leweke of the University of Cologne, Germany, and Andrea Giuffrida and Danielle Piomelli of the University of California, Irvine, looked at levels of the natural cannabis-like substance anandamide, they were higher in people with schizophrenia than in healthy controls.

The team measured levels of anandamide in the cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) of 47 people suffering their first bout of schizophrenia, but who had not yet taken any drugs for it, and 26 people who had symptoms of psychosis and have a high risk of schizophrenia.

Compared with 84 healthy volunteers, levels were six times as high in people with symptoms of psychosis and eight times as high in those with schizophrenia.

"This is a massive increase in anandamide levels," Leweke told the National Cannabis and Mental Illness Conference in Melbourne, Australia, last week. And that is just in the CSF. Levels could be a hundred times higher in the synapses, where nerve signalling is taking place, he says.

Cause or effect

But were the high anandamide levels triggering the psychotic symptoms or a response to them? Leweke and his colleagues found, to their surprise, that the more severe people's schizophrenia was the lower their anandamide levels.

The team's theory is that rather than triggering psychosis, the substance is released in response to psychotic symptoms to help control them. People with the worst symptoms might be unable to produce sufficient anandamide to prevent them.

At some point in their lives, between 5 and 30 per cent of healthy people have had symptoms such as delusions or hallucinations, which can be triggered by something as simple as sleep deprivation. "All of us are potentially psychotic," says David Castle of the University of Melbourne. So for the body to have a system that prevents these experiences getting out of hand makes sense, he says.

Frequent episodes

The new findings suggest antipsychotic drugs could be developed that target the anandamide system, but it will not be simple. The active ingredient in cannabis, THC, binds to anandamide receptors.

But people with schizophrenia who use cannabis actually have more severe and frequent psychotic episodes than those who do not. This may be because THC makes anandamide receptors less sensitive.

Leweke's team also found anandamide levels lowest in people with schizophrenia who used cannabis more frequently, suggesting it may disrupt the system in other ways too. Up to 60 per cent of people with schizophrenia use cannabis.

A study by Castle, also reported at the Melbourne meeting, has found that people use the drug to get rid of unpleasant emotions associated with the disease such as anxiety and depression.

License To Pill

Some nut having a not-quite-subliminal shot at the pop-a-pill-for-every-illness mentality we're in right now.

License To Pill

We couldn't get much higher...

Yeah, right...

I'm sick of fuckers offering to "get you the body you've always wanted" for a hefty price. So, maybe you do set up the direct debit account that's gonna pay this dude or dudette a grand an hour to get you this dream physique. So, maybe you do go out and buy all your gym gear; tight shorts, white wife-beaters, head bands and them homo-erotic black padded gloves. So, maybe you turn up to the gym, already intimidated because this trainers gonna have muscles you didn't know existed... oh, wait... no it's this guy...

Meet Bob Myhal of musclesurf.com fame. Fair enough the dudes not fat but... he looks like the guy from MILFhunter for one. Plus... there's this little picture tucked away in the basement of the site while there's pics like this all over, lulling you into a false sense of I-really-wanna-be-muscular sense of security. Believing this net-porn star's gonna make you healthy again.

And you know what? Fuck him too. I don't want this meat-head training me, using his demonstrations as an apt opportunity to show off to the leggings-wearing 65-year-olds walking on the treadmill. I want Jessica Alba as my yoga instructor. Period. Done deal. Signed, sealed, delivered. So, it's time for all-male gyms with all-female instructors... 2 instructors per dude too... well, atleast per me. hahha

Felt like a rant when I found this online.... and it'll help fill my quota of 10 posts per week.

Hope you enjoyed.

Trusssssssssst in meeeeeeee...

"No Time For Nuts"

I know you seen Ice Age. And I know you've either seen or wanna see Ice Age II: The Meltdown. So fuck you.

This movie's about 7 minutes long and is an official Twentieth Century Fox Animation/Blue Sky Studios production called "No Time For Nuts", which sounds like my ex-girlfriend. It's about the little squirrel/rat thing called Scrat... and his acorn. I don't have to tell you the synopsis or sell you it.... just watch it. Dude deserves a break.... atleast make him loved and famous, eh?

Shit made me laugh.

Freeware Update

The following download links and summaries are taken from Bear Bottoms Freeware. There is a monthly update which I will try to keep up with as best I can. Enjoy.

POV-Ray

POV (Persistence of Vision Raytracer) is a high-quality, totally free tool for creating stunning three-dimensional graphics. An excellent 3D ray tracer for people who are acquainted with programming. It is a lot of fun writing a picture, instead of drawing it, and seeing the results. It is great for those who would like to create artwork. It has a great tutorial.

Cascade DTP

Cascade DTP is a new kind of web page composition tool that harnesses the powerful features of cascading style sheet (CSS) layout and formatting commands.

SQLyog

SQLyog MySQL GUI is the most powerful MySQL Manager and MySQL Admin Tool, combining the features of MySQL Query Browser, phpMyAdmin and various other MySQL Front Ends and MySQL Clients in a single intuitive interface.

HomeServers

Easily build up your own servers running at home or office (local computer). Extremely easy to use Web and FTP servers that works on standard Windows computers.

KeyScrambler

KeyScrambler defeats keyloggers by encrypting your keystrokes at the keyboard driver level, deep within the operating system. When the encrypted keystrokes reach your browser, KeyScrambler then decrypts them so you see exactly the keys you've typed. Keyloggers can only record the encrypted keys, which are completely indecipherable.

WinRemotePC Lite

WinRemotePC Lite enables you to control a desktop remotely over the LAN or Internet. You can control the remote PC with your mouse and desktop, just as if sitting in front of it. The program comes with a client and a server module, and includes its own video driver for fast display performance that provides almost real-time control and offers an optional full-screen mode. A version with more functionality is coming soon.

QuickMenuBuilder

Quick Menu Builder enables you to create custom, executable menus. Your custom menu is compiled into a stand-alone executable file and works on all versions of Microsoft Windows®. Production of menus is easy, fast, does not require programming knowledge, and the results are very impressive!

Pawn

Pawn is a small freeware chess program for Windows. Options include board and piece color, computer difficulty level, and various gameplay choices. Version 1.53 adds PGN file format support, selective search for stronger play, and fixes stalemate detection. Very good chess program to improve your skills.

CleverKeys

Provides instant access to definitions at Dictionary.com, synonyms at Thesaurus.com, facts at Reference.com and more — from almost all Windows programs, including word processors, Web browsers and most e-mail programs.

Future Pinball

If you’ve ever wanted to design your own pinball table then this is your chance. Future Pinball is a sophisticated tool that allows you to place all the components that you desire on a virtual pinball table, edit them, move them around, tweak them, and see how they play out.

Vixy

Online service that converts a FLV file (Youtube's movie,etc) to another format (AVI/MOV/MP4/MP3/3GP). The service is using a unique technologies (JP), and converts FLV to MPEG4 faster and losslessy than a typical transcoder. The quality of this conversion is excellent.

Y!mLite Chat

Yahoo Skin-able Chat Client written with Delphi and is completely free. It can be configured to be as boot-proof as possible for the Yahoo network. Check out the exclusive filters found at Yahoo-->Y!Options-->Flood Filters.

3D Canvas

3D Canvas is a real-time 3D modeling and animation tool that incorporates an intuitive drag-and-drop approach to 3D modeling. Creating an animated scene is as simple as positioning the objects within your scene for each point in time in your animation. 3D Canvas will ensure that the resulting animation runs smoothly. Your animation can be stepped through a frame at a time, viewed in real-time, or recorded to a Video (AVI) file so that you can distribute your creation.

eyeOS

eyeOS is an Open Source Web Desktop Environment, commonly known as Web Operating System (Web OS) or Web Office. eyeOS is Open Source Software, and can be downloaded or used through the official eyeOS server. The basic System comes with some office and PIM applications, and the complete eyeOS software database can be found at eyeApps.org and in the public server.

MediaPlayerClassic

Looks just like Windows Media Player 6.4, but has many additional features. It has a built in DVD player with real-time zoom, support for AVI subtitles, QuickTime and RealVideo support (requires QuickTime and/or Real Player, but you can use the Quicktime and Real alternatives); built-in MPEG2/SVCD/DVD codec.

RealAlternative

Real Alternative will allow you to play RealMedia files without having to install RealPlayer/RealOne Player and the hassles that come with it.

Dear God...

I read this on darkmonkey.org.uk and found it quite humorous. Especially the kid who gets torn between believing regular school and Sunday school about who invented light. It's funny sometimes how it takes a kid to point out the most obvious points, arguments or contradictions where it seems that older people tend to think to deeply about it and completely oversee them.

Have a nice day children.

Is Santa Clause Real? .... Yeah, but is he?

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop our of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh an move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75« million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 time the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, the conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas motherfuckers!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Question and Answers about sex

Well just to put this out there I'm not a Doctor but I know for some teens and adults its hard to come out and ask questions with your family, friends and even your doctor so this is where I come in to help. Talking to someone you don't know seems to be a lot easier and I'm not going to give you bull shit answers I'm hear to help as much as I can. Sex is one of my stronger points when it comes to talking and learning. There is a lot to be learned and I feel that schools do not teach teens the right things they need to know about the real world and sex. So this is where I come in to help out people that are not sure about things. Here are some topics I'll be talking about STD * is a big one a lot of people DO NOT know enough about, Oral sex, Relationships with out sex, Losing your virginity, Different kinds of birth control, Sex toys, Anal sex, Three Somes I'll be talking about different topics every week so I can keep it fresh and new but also at the same time if there is any questions about past topics please feel free to ask me. So if you have ANY questions at all feel free to ask me and don't be shy every thing will be discreetly and anonymous I'm here to help and if you don't feel like asking a question on here you can email me at Sexpert_2006@hotmail.com .

Thanks for your time and trust
Sexpert.

Meet Lim Jeong Hyun, I think his hobbies include playing the guitar... and possibly youtube but I don't much care as long the dude makes some sort of album for me to buy 7'543'820 copies of.

And before anyone says it's a track playing and he's just mime strumming or whatever it's been tested. Plus, he played it live at the Korean Embassy.

Be easy.

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE PAIN-FREE MIND

How neuroscience could make bad memories a thing of the past

Words: Matt bean

Dr. Roger Pitman hunts nightmares. Not the vivid phantasmagoria populated by zombies – he’s after the non-fiction variety, the indelible flashbacks that stick in our heads after reality goes awry: machinery slicing flesh, landmines overturning tanks. I’m in Pitman’s Boston laboratory, watching him track a particularly vivid figment, a stab wound that’s plaguing 43-year-old Al Carney. “We’re about to put him back in the most horrifying moment of his life.” Says the Harvard psychiatrist, while next door, Al sits wired up to a battery of biofeedback equipment.

“It’s 8:30am, Thursday, March 30,” a narrator reads into Carney’s headphones. “Talking to Peter Bowman, you become tense. You tell him he needs to fix several things before you pay him. Peter becomes aggressive, you feel a blow to your neck… you realize you’re bleeding profusely from several knife wounds.”

Carney’s vitals ebb and flow across a monitor as he re-imagines the assault, peaking when he’s “stabbed”, but I don’t need electronics to see it’s struck a nerve: he starts fidgeting and his head twitches violently. Carney is one of dozens of trauma victims involved in Pitman’s study of the experimental drug Propranolol. No one, especially not Carney, knows whether he’s actually taken Propranolol or a placebo, but he’s hoping it’ll stop the spiral of substance abuse and insomnia that the stabbing started.

Pitman’s study leads a new wave of research that could treat the harmful effects of extreme stress, especially post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Current treatment – therapy coupled with drugs like Prozac – fails more often than it succeeds. But Pitman hopes that within five years, Propranolol could make it possible to “defuse” traumatic memories. “Post-traumatic stress disorder is just a memory with its volume set too loud,” Pitman observes. “We’re trying to turn it down again.”

We all have things we’d like to forget. The National Health Service (NHS) estimates that 5% of men will develop full-blown PTSD at some point in their lives. The figure rises to 31% among war veterans, but the disorder also hits closer to home. Domestic disputes, burglaries and even surgery can engrave malignant memories on our brains. Of course, some people can inexplicably shrug-off serious trauma. “We’re all affected by stress hormones,” says PTSD specialist Dr Deane Aikins. “We’re just beginning to understand why some people are more resilient.

Adrenalin, crocodiles and mental scars

“I don’t ever remember looking at my hand,” says 43-year-old Terrel Kyle. Just 25 minutes before the end of a lumber mill shift, Kyle’s left hand met 24 inches of whirring steel. He lost all his fingers. “That moment is just lost. I told my supervisor my fingers were gone, so I knew. But I just walked out and had a cigarette.

Kyle was helicoptered, along with a plastic bag containing his fingers, to Massachusetts General Hospital where a member of Dr Pitman’s team gave him a pill (either Propranolol or a placebo) and he underwent surgery. His hand rejected the fingers, and months later, he can’t erase the memory. “It’s there, all the time, like static, on the fringes of my mind. Anything going around fast – a propeller, car wheels – creates this clenching feeling in my chest.” And Kyle’s symptoms – blackouts, flashbacks, depression – aren’t the only price of PTSD. A 2006 study found the syndrome raises the levels of a blood-clotting agent, increasing the risk of heart disease. It’s also been linked to immune system and muscular disorders.

Post-traumatic stress is a spectacular breakdown of a normally very helpful bodily mechanism. Bundling an emotional component fits with Darwin’s theory of natural selection, says Pitman. “If you’re a Paleolithic man taking a new route to the watering hole and encounter a crocodile, you’d better remember it – or you’re out of the gene pool. Adrenalin helps you escape and strengthens that emotional component to stop you forgetting.”

But extremely traumatic events can release a torrent of stress hormones. That’s where Propranolol comes in. It blunts their impact on your emotional control centre, so you can log traumatic memories as standard bad memories, rather than world-changing, panic-inducing schisms.

Forgetting to regret

Pitman’s research hinges on administering Propranolol within 6 hours of a traumatic event. “Nobody knows when they’re going to be in an accident or assaulted, so administering a pill within 6 hours is difficult,” he says. “But we can control the memory later, by bringing it back to the point of sensitivity. This could help all kinds of problems: drug addiction, OCD, anything where you need to change the wiring in the brain.” But not everyone believes de-traumatizing is a good idea.

“That’s like playing God with the brain,” says Barry Romo, of the Vietnam-veterans anti-war group. “One of the things that keep us from remaking mistakes is having regret.” Romo believes that the way we interpret memories is an essential part of who we are. “People have a right to medication, but I worry what these drugs will be used for in the wrong hands,” he says. “We don’t want to create storm troopers who are able to perform actions remorselessly.”

Pitman says that’s overstating what such drugs can do. “It’s possible that something like that will be found, but I doubt it will be with Propranolol. And can we hold back medication from people simply to prevent others from abusing it? If we practiced that, nobody would be given morphine for their pain.”

Terrel Kyle won’t know for a year whether he received the placebo or the Propranolol. But learning about his disorder has helped him deal with the flashbacks. “Some people go through years of torture,” says Kyle. Should we be able to take those thoughts away? Absolutely. It’s not about playing God, it’s about feeling human again.”

That's not a knife

THIS IS A KNIFE. But how would u fit it in your pocket?

This show looks really good...

Show's called Sleeper Cell: American Terror. Set to premiere on Showtime. Too bad my ass is stuck with basic cable.

If Advertising were real....

Looking for staff

I've decided that a blog such as this needs more than just one author. I am now taking applications for authors who are capable of submitting at least ten (10) posts per week. With a staff of 10 people, this blog could turn into something really nice. If you're interested please send email to uinmycrosshairz@hotmail.com.

Upset over driving 100mph without getting pulled over, man rams unattended police car--twice. Somehow, GTA is not blamed...yet

By NICK BRADSHAW, kgw.com Staff

Think getting a speeding ticket is upsetting? Well, not getting pulled over for speeding made a Portland man so angry he decided repeatedly ramming his car into a Police cruiser might be a better way of getting the authorities' attention.

kgw

The Portland Police car was a victim of hit and run

Portland Police Spokesperson Brian Schmautz said shortly after 5:00 p.m. Friday night officers at the Northeast Precinct on NE Emerson St. got a call that someone had just hit one of their patrol cars, then backed up and hit it again.

The officers went outside and saw an abandoned Honda Civic that happened to be right next to the damaged patrol car.

A short time later police found the driver of the Honda, 35-year-old Jason Klopf.

Multnomah county Jail kgw.com

Jason Klopf said he rammed the patrol car because police failed to pull him over for speeding.

Klopf apparently told officers he was upset because he had been driving around on city streets at over 100 mph and no one ever pulled him over to give him a ticket.

Ramming the police cruiser didn't get him a speeding ticket but Klopf did manage to get himself a trip the Multnomah County Jail on charges of reckless driving and criminal mischief.

Inmate wants festive hats banned

The Prison Officers' Association said Chapman's request was 'ludicrous'

A prisoner is calling for a ban on prison officers wearing festive hats at Christmas.

Jamie Chapman said that officers in Father Christmas-style headgear "rubbed salt in the wounds" for inmates missing relatives over the festive season.

Mr Chapman, at Onley Prison, near Rugby in Warwickshire, made his comments in a letter to a newspaper for inmates.

He said it was "the last thing prisoners want to see" when they leave their cells on Christmas Day morning.

He added: "Would it be possible to get a blanket ban on prison officers wearing those silly Father Christmas hats they tend to don at this time of year?

'This is ludicrous'

"Mostly we are away from family and friends on this so-called season of good cheer and it's just rubbing salt into an already deep wound having to witness officers wearing silly hats."

Brian Caton, general secretary of the Prison Officers' Association, said: "This is ludicrous. I think it's a little bit morbid at a time of year when we do our best to lighten things up a bit.

"We have a great deal of sympathy with the vast majority of prisoners at this time of year.

"If they want to stay out of it and not take part in any of the lighter activities we set up then they are free to just stay in their cells."

A HM Prison Service spokeswoman said it recognised the festive season could be difficult for inmates and efforts were made to minimise distress.

She added: "Each prison carefully plans the Christmas period taking into account staffing levels, the needs of individual prisoners and budget considerations.

"Decisions regarding provisions for Christmas and the regime are a local matter and are at the discretion of the governor."

Indian Doctors Reattach Mob Victim's Penis After Seven-Hour Surgery

Sunday, December 10, 2006
Associated Press

NEW DELHI — An Indian man who was attacked and mutilated by a group of people with a grudge had successful seven-hour penis-reattachment surgery, a news report said Sunday.

The unidentified 28-year-old man was assaulted in an unidentified town about 125 miles from New Delhi, the Times of India reported.

Despite taking nearly six hours to reach a hospital in New Delhi, doctors were able to reattach the severed organ because it was properly preserved in ice after the attack.

The surgery lasted seven hours, the report quoted Dr. Aditya Agarwal, who performed the operation, as saying.

"I am able to do all the things a normal person does, and I am very grateful to the doctors," the man was quoted as saying.

He said he had an old dispute with his attackers.

B.K. Rao, a top official at Sir Gangaram Hospital where the surgery took place, hailed the successful operation. "It has given back a young man his life and his social status," he said.

All I can say is.....ouch

The Best Freeware Applications

Found this awesome guide to the best freeware programs on the web.

Well, I know how some people don’t/wont use wares or any other illegal programs, but they also don’t want to buy $20-$50-$500 programs, so here is a big list of Freeware programs (programs that are 100% LEGAL to download and use as long as you want) that are nearly, or just as good as the ones you would normally pay for.

I put together all of this information myself.

Computer Safety/Protection:

ZoneAlarm 6.5.722

This application has a very powerful Firewall, as well as some other features that most freeware programs do not include

ZoneAlarm is designed to protect your DSL- or cable-connected PC from hackers. This program includes four interlocking security services: a firewall, an application control, an Internet lock, and Zones. The firewall controls the door to your computer and allows only traffic you understand and initiate. The application control allows you to decide which applications can and cannot use the Internet. The Internet lock blocks Internet traffic while your computer is unattended or while you’re not using the Internet, and it can be activated automatically with your computer’s screen saver or after a set period of inactivity. Zones monitor all activity on your computer and alert you when a new application attempts to access the Internet. Version 6.5.722 removes McAfee installation gate and fixes an update problem with LastWriteTime.

File size 13.07MB

Requirements Windows 2000/XP, 450MHz CPU, 64MB RAM (128MB RAM for XP), 50MB disk space

Limitations No limitations

Download here

CCleaner 1.33.382

Is a very simple, useful cleaning program. i would recommend using this once or twice a month

CCleaner (Crap Cleaner) is a system-optimization tool. It removes unused and temporary files from your system, allowing it to run faster and more efficiently, and giving you more hard-disk space. The application cleans traces left by Windows, Internet Explorer, and third-party applications. Version 1.33.382 includes more cleaning supports for a variety of new third-party applications.

File size 1.42MB

Requirements Windows 95/98/Me/NT/2000/XP/2003 Server/Vista

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Ad-Aware SE Personal Edition 1.06

The most popular ad ware program on the freeware market today, i don’t see why you wouldn’t have this

With the ability to scan your RAM, Registry, hard drives, and external storage devices for known data-mining, advertising, and tracking components, Ad-Aware SE easily can clean your system, allowing you to maintain a higher degree of privacy while you surf the Web.

Ad-Aware SE Personal Edition boasts a number of improvements. Extended memory scanning now scans all modules loaded by a process. Scanning uses the all- new CSI (Code Sequence Identification) technology to identify new and unknown variants of known targets. Extended Registry scanning now scans Registry branches of multiple-user accounts and performs additional smart checks to detect dynamically created references. Scanning speed is noticeably faster, and this version offers an Extended Scanning mode for known and unknown/possible browser hijackers.

New in version 1.06: Disk-scan is approximately 30 percent faster. CSI scan is now more efficient. Added "Scan for low-risk threats" option, to scan for targets with low TAC index. Ad-Watch CSI engine performance highly improved; using less CPU and Memory as well as having a smaller footprint. GUI adapted to use the new TAC.

File size 2.72MB

Requirements Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP

Limitations Real time protection disabled

Download Here

Avast Home Edition 4.7.892

Avast! home edition is a great anti virus, the scans are a little slow, but it makes a great partner for AVG

Avast 4 Home Edition is a free, complete ICSA certified and Secure Computing Magazine awarded antivirus software for home noncommercial use. Avast includes the following components: On Demand Scanner--with skinnable simple interface--just select what do you want to scan in which way and press the Play button; On Access Scanner--special providers to protect the most of available e-mail clients; Instant Messaging--ICQ, Miranda; Network traffic--intrusion detection--lightweight firewall; P2P protection for Kazaa, BitTorrent; Web shield--monitors and filter all HTTP traffic; NNTP Scanner--scans all Usenet Newsgroup traffic and all operations with files on PC; Boot Time Scanner--scans disks in the same way and in the same time as Windows CHKDSK does. True automatic incremental updates are small and fast.

Version 4.7.892 is now finally compatible with Windows Vista RC1 and the "remediations" in Vista Security Center are now functional.

File size 11.54MB

Requirements Windows 95/98/Me/NT/2000/XP/Vista

Limitations No limitations

Downlaod Here

Spybot - Search & Destroy 1.4

This is a wonderfully simple and powerful little program, that has regular updates, and a big list of spy ware that it checks for

Spybot - Search & Destroy can detect and remove a multitude of adware files and modules from your computer. Spybot also can clean program and Web-usage tracks from your system, which is especially useful if you share your computer. Modules chosen for removal can be sent directly to the included file shredder, ensuring complete elimination from your system. For advanced users, it allows you to fix Registry inconsistencies related to adware and to malicious program installations. The handy online-update feature ensures that Spybot always has the most current and complete listings of adware, dialers, and other uninvited system residents.

Version 1.4 has the first native multi-installation scanner, noticeably faster than the previous version during scans, and has improved the tools and updated the interface.

File size 4.8MB

Requirements Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

AVG Anti-Virus Free Edition 7.5.4

Though it may not be as good as it was when it first came out, it can still be a stand alone virus detector, but can be pared up with other anti viruses for extra protection

AVG Free Edition is the well-known antivirus protection tool. AVG Free is available free of charge to home users for the life of the product. Rapid virus database updates are available for the lifetime of the product, thereby providing the high level of detection capability that millions of users around the world trust to protect their computers. AVG Free is easy to use and will not slow your system down (low system resource requirements). Highlights include automatic update functionality, the AVG Resident Shield, which provides real-time protection as files are opened and programs are run, free Virus Database Updates for the lifetime of the product, and AVG Virus Vault for safe handling of infected files.

Version 7.5.4 includes improved virus detection based on better heuristics and NTFS data streams scanning; a smaller installation and update files; and an improved user interface. The newest version is also compatible with Windows Vista.

File size 16.41MB

Requirements Windows 95/98/Me/NT/2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Other Useful Computer/Maintenance Programs:

Easy Uninstaller 1.5 build 61

Screw the shitty add/remove programs, this does a way better job

This uninstaller is a fast, advanced, powerful, and easy-to-use replacement for Windows’ slow and user-unfriendly Add/Remove control panel applet. It comes with functions such as multiple uninstallations in one go, an uninstall list backup manager, and the option to delete an uninstaller key entry.

File size 681.91K

Requirements Windows Me/XP, Visual Basic Runtime Module 6.0

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Auslogics Disk Defrag 1.1.0.188

Does a better and faster job then the M$ disc defragmenter on your computer

Disk fragmentation leads to system slowdowns, PC crashes, slow startup and shutdown and sometimes to system failures. Auslogics Disk Defrag is designed for fast optimization of today’s modern hard disks. Get the maximum performance out of your expensive hardware investments. Version 1.1.0.188 increased defragmentation speed by 30-80%, added Windows Vista RC2, RTM and Vista 64-bit support, improved disk defragmentation map, fixed a "Canvas does not allow drawing" bug.

File size 1.44MB

Requirements Windows 2000/XP/2003 Server/Vista

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Abexo Free Registry Cleaner 1

This helps get rid of errors and other crap that slows down your computer

By time Windows registry gathers a lot of invalid entries that cause system complications and slow down your computer significantly. Included in Complete Registry Cleaner is a registry defragmenter also called compressor, which removes the empty spaces after a cleanup and thereby reduces registry size. Registry defragmentation increases the performance of your computer dramatically. One-click registry back-up, clean-up and defrag.

File size 723.41K

Requirements Windows 98/Me/2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Codecs:

(note) these are not nearly all the codecs available, just 2 small packs that i found extremely useful, but if you install too many codecs, you may run into conflicts/errors, just a tip.

XviD Media Codec 1.1.1

Some great codecs that will help you view some of the more popular video formats

XviD Media Codec includes the open-source MPEG 4 codec, which comes from the same open-source project that was the basis for DivX 4.x/5.x. The XviD codec will enable you to watch XviD movies. There’s no XviD Player included, but with this codec installed on your machine, you will be able to view XviD movies with your favorite media player, such as WMP or WinAmp. Its source code is available online for everyone. XviD Media Codec comes complete with both install and uninstall wizards. Version 1.1.1 may include unspecified updates, enhancements, or bug fixes.

File size 511.5K

Requirements Windows 95/98/Me/NT/2000/XP/2003 Server

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

DivX for Windows with DivX Player 6.2.2

Some great codecs that will help you view some of the more popular video formats, but its different then the XviD Media Codec 1.1.1 above

This bundle includes the DivX Player and DivX 6.2 codec and DivX Converter. The DivX Player plays all .avi and .divx files that contain DivX video and MP3 audio (including DivX 3, 4, 5 and 6 video formats), and enables access to rented and purchased DivX movies. The DivX codec extends DivX playback support to all popular media players. This package supports English, French, German and Japanese languages.

DivX Player is optimized to play every DivX file with full support for all the advanced features of DivX including scene selection menus, chapters, subtitles, video tags and alternate audio tracks. The latest version of the DivX Player adds a download manager that allows you to download multiple videos, pause and resume downloads, and progressively play back video, and a new burn-to-disc feature for creating DivX discs from within the player. Version 6.2.2 may include unspecified updates, enhancements, or bug fixes.

File size 14.34MB

Requirements Windows 2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Audio Video:

VCD Gear

This is a very diverse tool, it can convert a wide variety of video formats, and i think most people should have this, casue when you need it, you need it

VCDGear is a tool written to effortlessly extract MPEG streams from CD images, convert VideoCD files to MPEG, correct MPEG errors, create (Super)VideoCDs and more!. The first public release was back in late 1997 and ever since then, VCDGear has continued to grow in complexity, offering a multitude of features to make this a very powerful tool for VideoCD enthusiasts. VCDGear is the result of over 6 years of work.

Some of the features you will find in VCDGear are:

* MPEG stream extractions from popular CD images

* On the fly MPEG correction to fix certain types of MPEG errors

* Super VideoCD and VideoCD image creation

* Sample generation

* Multilanguage support

* Graphical interface and command-line versions available

* Cross platform

* Free!

Anyone requiring the need to transport their video materials will find VCDGear as a useful tool to assist them in getting the video to play on their computer or VideoCD player.

Download Here

Animator-9 3.6[b]

Now this program could easily be compared to Ulead GIF Animator, only this program is freeware. it doesn’t have as many features, but it still gets the job done

Several digital cameras can take a multi picture, which shows a sequence of shots in one picture. Animator-9 can read this file and generate an animated GIF, split it into several small files, or animate it with a Java applet. Animator-9 can even generate the HTML code necessary to get the animations working on your Web page. This update introduces a new Stitch feature, which allows you to create any animation file (even if you don’t have a camera). Animator-9 can compose any BMP or JPG file sequence to an animation file.

File size 436.28K

Requirements Windows 95/NT

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

[b]MediaMonkey 2.5.4

Very useful for those who have a extensive music collection, plus it has many other features

MediaMonkey is a music manager and jukebox for serious music collectors and iPod users. It catalogs your CDs, OGG, WMA, MPC, FLAC, APE, WAV and MP3 audio files. It offers an intelligent tag editor which looks up missing Album Art and track information via Freedb and the web, and an automated file and directory renamer to organize your music library. It includes a CD ripper, CD/DVD Burner, and audio converter for saving music, and manual or automated playlist editors for creating music mixes. Its player automatically adjusts volume levels so that you don’t have continually fiddle with the volume control and supports hundreds of Winamp plug-ins and visualizations; or if you prefer, it can use Winamp as the default player. It also includes portable audio device synchronization that allows you to quickly synch tracks and playlists with iPods and other portable audio devices.

Version 2.5.4.978 adds improvements and fixes related to synchronization, support for wav tags, and CD/DVD Burning.

File size 4.82MB

Requirements Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP

Limitations Automation features disabled

Download Here

JetAudio Basic 6.2.6

This is another audio player, but it does some other interesting things, like allow you to broadcast your own music, convert audio files and more

etAudio is integrated multimedia software made up of a single compact rack. Not only does it play various music and video files, it also has features such as CD burning, recording, and conversion to other file formats. You can create your own Internet broadcast by using JetCast, provided with JetAudio, and you can play all major file formats, including WAV, MP3, MP3Pro, OGG, WMA, MPEG, AVI, WMV, MIDI, RM, and video and audio CD tracks. Convert among audio file formats, and record analog audio to various formats.tag editing for MP3, OGG, and WMA files; sound effects including wide, reverb, and x-bass; multichannel sound output; speed control of audio playback; cross-fading for a smooth transition between two songs; a skinnable user interface; and synchronized lyrics display (karaoke) for MIDI and MP3 files.supports for video conversion for iAUDIO U3, supports .ts, .tp file extension, and includes video format converter to AVI.

Version 6.2.6 Fixed video conversion for iAUDIO 6/U3

File size 16.31MB

Requirements Windows 98/Me/2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

VLC Media Player 0.8.5

This is a VERY versatile media player, highly recommended

VLC (initially VideoLAN Client) is a highly portable multimedia player for various audio and video formats, including MPEG-1, MPEG-2, MPEG-4, DivX, MP3, and OGG, as well as for DVDs, VCDs, and various streaming protocols. It also can be used as a server for unicast or multicast streams in IPv4 or IPv6 on a high-bandwidth network.

Version 0.8.5 is a bugfix release.

File size 7.9MB

Requirements Windows 95/98/Me/NT/2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

EXPStudio Audio Editor Free 4.0.1

A wonderful little audio editing tool, that allows you to do many things with your sounds, very feature rich

This powerful free tool allows you edit your audio files like editing text files, display a waveform window of an audio file and apply zooming, record new audio file from a microphone, VCR, cassette player or another input device, visually edit an audio file (cut, copy, delete silence, paste from file, mix, mix from file); apply different effects (Amplify, Delay, Equalizer, Fade, Flanger, Invert, Normalize, Noise, Breath reduce, Reverse, MultiTapDelay, Silence, FX effects (Convert voices: Female to male, male to female, Chipmunk and Zeus). The following audio formats are supported: WAV PCM, compressed WAV (ADPCM, GSM, DSP, A-LAW, U-LAW, ALF2 and others), MP2, MP3 (MPEG Layer-3), VOX (Dialogic ADPCM), WMA (Windows Media Audio), RAW(PCM, A-LAW, U-LAW), CDA (Audio CD Tracks), OGG (Ogg Vorbis), G.721, G.723, G.726.

Version 4.0.1 improved loading speed.

File size 5.97MB

Requirements Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP/2003 Server/Vista

Limitations No limitations

Download Here

Office and Other Tools:

The GIMP 2.2.11

This is the best thing for people that don’t like illegal software or don’t want to buy photo shop, it may be a tad bit watered down, but it’ll do for any beginner to intermediate

GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program) is a freely distributed piece of software suitable for such tasks as photo retouching, image composition, and image authoring. It is a powerful piece of software with capabilities not found in any other free software product. It can be used as a simple paint program, an expert-quality photo-retouching program, an online batch-processing system, a mass production image renderer, or an image-format converter. GIMP is modular, expandable, and extensible. It is designed to be augmented with plug-ins and extensions to do just about anything. The advanced scripting interface allows everything from the simplest task to the most complex image-manipulation procedures to be easily scripted. Version 2.2.11 is a bug-fixing release.

Note: You will need to download both GTK+ Runtime Environment Get Them Here and The Gimp installers. Install GTK+ before installing The Gimp.

File size 7.7MB

Requirements Windows NT/2000/XP

Limitations No limitations

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OpenOffice.org 2.0.4

Fuck 200 dollars for Microsoft Office, this is like the free version of it, only just as good

OpenOffice.org is both an open-source product and a project. The product is a multiplatform office productivity suite. It includes desktop applications such as a word processor, a spreadsheet program, a presentation manager, and a drawing program, with a user interface and feature set similar to those of other office suites. OpenOffice.org also works transparently with a variety of file formats, including those of Microsoft Office.

Localizations of OpenOffice.org are available in 27 languages, with more being constantly added by the community. OpenOffice.org runs on Solaris, Linux (including PPC Linux), and Windows. Written in C++ and with documented APIs licensed under the LGPL and SISSL open-source protocols, OpenOffice.org allows any knowledgeable developer to benefit from the source. Among other new features, bugfixes, and improvementsm, version 2.0.4 adds enhanced PDF management, direct export to LaTex, and new functionality in Calc and Impress. The most notable advancement is improved extensions management that allows developers to create their own extensions for the open-source suite.

File size 92.38MB

Requirements Windows 95/98/Me/NT/2000/XP, Java Runtime Environment 1.4

Limitations No limitations

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NVU 1

Somewhat like Dream weaver, only, you guessed it, free

Nvu (pronounced N-view, for a "new view") makes managing a web site a snap. Now anyone can create web pages and manage a website with no technical expertise or knowledge of HTML. Finally! A complete Web Authoring System for Linux Desktop users as well as Microsoft Windows and Macintosh users.

File size 6.57MB

Requirements Windows(all)

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